"The Shameful Secret"

From the Author of
Living on Love 
"The Messenger"

Klaus J. Joehle

All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2001  by Klaus J. Joehle

Love

To my sweetheart who obviously is the greatest angel of them all
It's a very beautiful experience to have you in my life 
And very inspiring to know that you could love a man 
Who is as stubborn as a mule and draws his sword 
Every time a leaf flutters to the ground   
Angels bask in the light that shines from within you.   
 

Thank you  
For being in my life



A Word

I suppose in my own words that I believe in the possibility of truth 
more that truth itself. What holds true today falls aside in the 
light of tomorrow's truth. 
Are truths not just a journey? Perhaps a journey with no end! Perhaps 
truth is just a fantasy we cling to for safety from the unknown, the 
things we can not fathom think that truth is closer to those inner 
sanctuary's, faith and trust then truth itself.
Having said that, the words I want to believe; so please make it true 
as I wish not to be fooled, unfold as a small quiet voice from 
somewhere deep in my mind. Yes, I see your point I answered back but 
truth is not mine to control neither yours. 
Matter of fact as time passes, I become older I become less sure of 
everything except that time passes, and I am getting older. In my 
first book, I said I write the truth as best as I could. Now here in 
this book I must say I write what I believe is the possibility of 
truth. 
If a story really ever ends or truly has a beginning; then here is as 
per say the rest of the story. As always, take what you like and 
leave the rest for someone that will love it. 
All my love

 Life is a matter of choice  
We can choose Love or Sword and a billion choices in-between  
Perhaps you have already decided
 Or  
Perhaps you have decided to wait and see what your enemy will do. 

Considering the way the universes works if this book has come into 
your hands this story will either touch you in some way; or even be a 
part of your never ending journey.

Spelling and Grammar?

Bad spelling is like a beautiful flower
On the side of the road
Where it should not be
But takes you away from where 
You should not have been going.

Klaus Joehle
 
Missing punctuations 
Are like angels you know
Should be there
But can't see them
That's why you think of them.

Klaus Joehle





A Few Words before We Start 

In truth, it has taken a long time to write this book. Sometimes I am 
afraid of the truth, sometimes I don't want the truth to be the 
truth, and at the same time, there are times I'm ashamed of my truth.

This book will be difficult for you to read and so I would like to 
explain to you some of how this world and our universe works. I feel 
it will help you to understand what has happened and why things seem 
all over the place and why several things were happening at the same 
time. When you first mix light and darkness together, you get 
confusion you find yourself swung into a place of unknown uncertainty 
of what you are and how you are. Some of you will already have 
experienced this. 

To start with, as I was writing my first book I was working with love 
and trying to write about it so others could see what was possible 
but at the same time there was also a darker side to me trying to 
settle a timeless old score, which has nothing to do with love. 
Although the first book is true, I left out much of the truth about 
what I had become and what I had done to myself with all my 
experiments. I had begun to open the door to love and to that loving 
part of myself; but also had opened the door to that other part of 
myself that dark part of myself that could kill and feel nothing of 
it. Each time I sit down to write this book I just physically begin 
to shake, my body gets ice cold no matter how hot it is. Some masters 
would say that it is best to leave some doors unopened but if you 
have read my other books then you know I could never leave those 
doors alone. I have some fear and I have some shame but I have no 
regrets. I think that some of my shame comes from the fact that I 
would do many of the things I did again. It was a journey I had to 
take regardless of the cost to myself and to others. They say they're 
are no victims and sometimes I would like to believe that just to 
make myself feel better; but it comes with great difficulty and I 
fear myself using it as an excuse as to what I have done. Look at it 
this way some say that we have lived other life times, that is fine 
but as you search further you realize that these other so called life 
times are actually happening now at this moment. Once you open those 
doors, you cannot close them and you become what you are in those 
other life times, you bring it into this life that's the danger or 
the glory.

It is a real danger, it almost killed me and almost turned me back 
into the darkness I had hoped to change. If in other lifetimes other 
probabilities you are doing good that's all fine its not that hard to 
take but if you open doors that say do not open under any 
circumstances then there is a reason a good reason. So what do you 
think would happen to you if you open those doors to find out that 
you are in fact the darkest evil that you at this time are trying to 
stop. How would you feel to find you are the ugliest that has ever 
roamed this earth and you find you cannot close the door and the more 
it stays open the more you become that. For what I am there and what 
I am here, are both melting into each other? If I would not have 
learned the art of sending love and how to use that power I would not 
have survived. The battle is not over how can I win a battle with 
myself. All I can hope for is that one can see the light of the other 
and by that hope that we both survive. 

Unfortunately, life does not always unfold like the pages of books or 
like stories in books. It's a whole different story when you are 
living it. This book was difficult to write and will in its own way 
be difficult to read. Life can be simple and joyful but when you 
can't seem to leave no stone unturned, well then things can get a 
little hairy and confusing. I could have changed the story in this 
book into a make believe story that follows a certain order but in 
doing so it would not have been the truth and worst of all it would 
be very confusing to someone going through some of those things. It 
would look so different from what really happens as you start opening 
those mysterious doors. Life does not necessarily hand you things in 
a nicely written orderly fashion. It comes as it comes Sometimes you 
get the egg before you know what a chicken is. Many people write me 
of things that they are experiencing and they say that they cannot 
find any reference to these things in books and so feel lost. That is 
because books are written to be books not to explain the impossible 
or really show you what experiencing the impossible will put you 
through. Unfortunately as you hunt for the truth and search in those 
hidden places things sometimes come at the same time almost like you 
are living two life's at the same time and it seems that you are at 
two places at once. Nevertheless, how do you write being at two 
places at once and having two separate points of view at the same 
time when generally it is not even accepted that it is possible. I am 
also hoping that you can see that how we see reality is how our 
life's are formed. It is by what we see as truth is how we live and 
experience our lives.

If we look towards light we see light, if we turn around we see 
shadows. That should tell you something; see its something you never 
thought of is it? Its there every day and you don't see it but it 
affects everything you do and by not realizing that its there and 
what it means is that the experience you we have will be that of 
confusion. What this means is that we do not live in the light and we 
do not live in the darkness but we live where they meet right in the 
middle. Now you understand why it's all so confusing like they're are 
always opposing forces working one way as you go the other. Its an 
explosive place where its hard to tell with way is up. There is a 
balance and yet there is none. Best of all there is two of 
everything. When I say light and darkness I am not referring to good 
and evil just to two opposing forces of contrast. That's what makes 
this place so interesting it is seemingly built on and colossal 
contrast. The contrast exaggerates everything to enormity, but also 
makes everything bigger then it is. So, now that you know a little 
more of where you have chosen to experience life you can understand 
the turbulence; such a simple truth and it explains so much. Before I 
go on, I want to say something about light and darkness. Darkness is 
not evil or any less desired by all that is. It tries to convey that 
the light of the creator shines as bright in the darkness as it does 
in the light. Darkness is simply a contrast to see the light more 
clearly and light is simply a contrast to see the darkness more 
clearly. Both were created with the same love by all that there is. 
Person's actions have nothing to do with light or darkness they are 
simply actions. There is no more evil in the darkness then there is 
in the light. Matter of fact only love exists in true darkness as 
only love exists in true light. Light and darkness both sits in the 
creator's lap both created with the same love the creator creates 
everything with. So, you might ask where are we; are we in the light? 
Are we in the darkness? This is where the true magic lies. Magic is 
the love of asking, of searching and of creating consciously that 
what we want to experience and how we will experience it and to what 
degree it will challenge us to grow beyond any concept of 
limitations.

We have conditioned ourselves so much that whenever something bad 
happens we say it must be from the darkness and could not come from 
the light. This is even believed to such an extent that when some 
travel further into the light and they find something that is not so 
seemingly nice that they automatically assume it must be coming from 
the darkness and that they are not as far into the light as they have 
thought. This is incorrect and believing this will make your 
traveling into the light very confusing. The same goes the other way 
you can travel into the darkness and find just as much love there. 
You will just not see light that is all, but you can find the creator 
there as much as anywhere. So now you can see that us living in where 
light and darkness come together can be confusing because you are in 
fact sort of living two lives at the same time. When calm waters and 
a flowing river come together, you get turbulent waters of clear and 
muddy mixing together to form something new but ever changing. It is 
this mixing that creates what is seen nowhere else. That's what makes 
this place so special, so confusing and ever changing always in total 
contrast and it is this contrast that brings out the real beauty of 
both. Now in time the flowing water will shift as do all things and 
so in time the area that was in the turbulence will be in the 
darkness of muddy rich waters or become light of calm clear waters. 
Do you see the picture now; in time, we will be in the light that is 
the direction we are going. However, the elusion is that this will 
bring peace it is an elusion. We will have peace but not because of 
the light, it is natural to always change to something we are not, or 
to gravitate to the opposite. It is from the turbulence that we now 
desire calm; and it is our desires for calmness that will bring about 
peace. Now when you work with love as I have explained in my first 
book you will shift yourself into those calm waters by first creating 
calmness in yourself and by that shifting into calmness. In a sense 
the clear calm waters of light, Not every one will go that direction 
some will with love go to the calmness of darkness; there is also a 
third option. As the darkness meets with the light the turmoil of two 
energies, converging creates another place or better said an opening 
to…come on now at this point you should be able to tell me what this 
place is, what doorway does it open?

Ok! OK! I will tell you but as soon as I do you'll say I know that. 
As I explained with light and darkness what happens when those 
energies meet, this happens in everything with everything everywhere 
in the world with nature in the universe and everything that was 
created. Everything and every form of energy has its opposite and I 
mean everything; right down to the atom. So now, there will always be 
what we call a place where these opposing things meet.

This is so even with people. Each time these forces meet, there is a 
reaction, an energy created a vortex of sorts. Now I should tell you 
that light and darkness meet not only here where we live but also in 
other places. Each place will be a bit different but one thing does 
stay constant a sort of vortex is formed and does open. Now you think 
life in where we are is confusing and ever changing this vortex for a 
better word for it makes this look like a piece of cake. 

OK! So I hope you are still with me. So now think about this all that 
we do whatever it is, all this activity be it even just an atom 
causing the creation and changing of what we could usually call 
energy but it's more than that. Therefore, in using an analogy you 
could say the creator creates and what he creates also then creates 
just the same as it works for us. We create a generator, this is 
converted to electricity, and that is converted to something that 
creates something else like smelting steel. So the creator creates 
and what he/she creates does also create. Do you see it? So lets say 
an enlightened fish comes to understand the dam and that it creates 
energy for those that created it. However, he/she cannot yet see what 
is done with this energy but sees the dam and the generator as sort 
of a vortex and if he follows the wires of electricity though where 
it goes he sees the creators, US humans creating things with this 
energy. So he/she might say oh, these are the creators that created 
the rivers and the dams and all that is. That is just an elusion. 
These vortexes will in a sense lead you to…something but it is not 
the creator but only a larger form of the creation for the fact is 
the creation you see and we are is the creator for the creator 
creates itself much as humans and all life seek to recreate itself. 
So, if you want to go home if you want to see the creator then look 
inside yourself, they're inside your heart; you will find an enormous 
spark of endless power to create anything; I call it Love. Therefore, 
as you work with love you walk hand in hand with the creator and are 
in a sense of the word home. Home is not so much a place as it is an 
act. It is when we create in the image of the creator you could say 
we are at home, that is home. When you open that valve of love inside 
your opening, in the way I explained in my other book. You are 
opening the flow of the creator, in fact he/she is then flowing thru 
you freely, and you will have in your hands an endless source of 
power to create whatever fancies you have, your joy your love. Does 
it all now make sense? I hope it does. But! There is more we are not 
done yet. 

In order to truly create would it not help to understand some of what 
was already created? Of course, it would, to put it all into some 
temporary form of understanding from where we can expand our 
understanding. Sometimes but not always, it is easier to understand 
how something works by first taking it apart and then re-assembling 
it. You will know very fast if you understood it because if you did 
not fully understand the principle then you will soon find that it 
does not work. OK! So lets go on to the next thing. 

So the idea that the world was flat came from some old writings that 
explained that world upon worlds are layered like stone layers. 
Alternatively, you could say a gigantic stack of papers each paper is 
a world very similar to yours but just a little different. In other 
words, there is no time, it is time that gives the elusion of 
movement but in fact, we live in a form of endless probable realities 
layered like paper and spreading out like a four-dimensional spider 
web. Ok! You can see the difficulty in explaining it but lets try it 
in several forms. Some of you might be familiar with a TV show called 
sliders where a scientist found a way to access these probable worlds 
and is now traveling from one to the next trying to get back to the 
one he thinks he came from. Of course in the TV show he thinks that 
none of the worlds he goes to, are as good as the one he came from. 
However, other then that he could stay where he is where he had made 
different choices and so has lived a different life.

So keep this in mind as we go on, also keep the following in mind. We 
create and then set about perfecting what we create but first we 
create and that is also how the creator creates he/she creates and 
then set out to perfect what is created and that is in fact what we 
are doing with our lives. Each life we set out to perfect what is 
already created; so in fact everything that is already created 
everything you can think of already is and what we now do is perfect 
it, like an artist we colour in the blanks. So what that means is 
that the past still exists and the future also exists but all exists 
in the endless possibilities that were there and we flow inside of 
those endless variations perfecting each one of them more and more. 
Therefore, you could travel into the future and into the past of that 
reality you have experienced or into a billion variations of the 
future. Now as it goes each moment is one of those sheets of paper. 
The entire world as you see it is on it. But it is only one 
possibility of billions of what could be in endless variations. So 
lets say you go into the past and give yourself the lottery numbers; 
in the theory that some have, you would come back into the future and 
find that you are rich. But that is not how it works you could travel 
into the future where you are rich because of somthing you did but 
you could also go into the present moment where you have endless 
probable possibilities where in fact you are rich and that part of 
you has experienced a memory of how you became rich. OK so lets say 
you found a way to shift right now to a reality that is playing right 
now where you are rich what you would find is just that, but you 
would also have all the memories associated with that experience and 
you would not remember coming from the other reality. This is set up 
that way because it would get very confusing of having two memories 
with two different outcomes. There is a barrier in your mind that 
separates each memory so that it will not become confusing and at the 
same time not drive you crazy. See you cannot go into the future 
unless it is already there so you could not predict the future unless 
it is already there. So lets say you are predicting the future, what 
you are doing is guessing at what probable world you will be 
experiencing. So lets say someone says you will win the lottery 
tomorrow in fact if you can think it then it has already happened but 
will you shift into the world with that possibility set in; that's 
the thing if you do you will experience winning if you do not you 
will not win. Now the trick is to know how to shift in those 
probabilities, but that is not something you want to do until you 
understand the implications of what will happen to you and how it 
will affect your life. It is something that happens very naturally 
every day to everyone. We do not notice it because we also switch 
memories and time is what makes that possible. Time is what makes you 
think and makes it appear as if something just happened when in fact 
it already was. Sometimes we do take some memories with us and that 
is when we get the feeling that we did something like go to the store 
when in fact we did not go and yet we can clearly remember going to 
the store. Now you're getting it! Sometimes as people get old, they 
talk about things that happened in the past and people around them 
say that this is not how it happened. This happens when that barrier 
in your mind breaks down and releases memories of other probabilities 
that were played out. So it is that they begin to access those 
probabilities while still staying in the one they are in, sometimes 
they then will shift over to that probability. Now you would say if 
that is so then why can we, here in this probability still see them. 
Because there is no time and so, you are everywhere all the time; it 
is time that gives you the elusion of separation.

So the next question would be can you prove this to yourself, O' yes 
you can. But do you want to? The price can be high especially if you 
are just starting out and have no idea what will happen and are crazy 
enough to do things that is said not to do, then your story might 
unfold as mine did as you will see if you keep on reading. I wanted 
to understand I did not care what the price was or the cost to me or 
to anyone else. So that's how I got into the mess I got myself into. 
There is a way to shift and do it in such a way that it enriches your 
life and even others and there is a way to be fully aware of it all 
and stay sane. I was young and impatient and did not see what was in 
store for me until after I was way over my head, but then that's 
nothing new. If you continue your working with love as I have set out 
in my first book your ability to casually shift in all the 
probabilities will come to you naturally, slowly but naturally. Here 
is one more thing this is something that I did not see for a long 
time. As you get good at sending love and working with love you will 
begin to shift in the probabilities effortlessly and joyfully but 
even better, you will in fact change that probability to something 
better. As you can imagine it would take an enormous force or power 
to change what already is created but when you work with Love did, I 
not tell you that the creator is then flowing thru you.

O' we are not finished with this yet. Science is slowly realizing the 
atom can actually be at more then one place at the same time. The 
implications of that can seem staggering but that is just an elusion 
of time. There are only two atoms in your body, what we could call 
positive and negative remember light and darkness coming together 
creating a vortex of sorts that is your body it is the two atoms in 
close combination creating a vortex and in time creating billions of 
them that's how two atoms form your body. Therefore, you can sort of 
see how you can be everywhere and shift easily. This is of course an 
extremely simplified example and so at the same time incorrect.

OK! So let's finish up with how the different possible realities 
bleed into each other and some of the effects it has on us even when 
we are not aware of it. So you have so many probable worlds and all 
so close together and each being just the tiniest bit different or 
totally different, before I say any more remember this. You have 
chosen to be where you are even if you can't remember choosing. 
Therefore, at this time, there are probable worlds already at peace 
and there are probable worlds at war and some almost destroyed. Every 
probability you can imagine exists. Now the really neat part is that 
we naturally shift around in these probable worlds every day un-
knowingly and unaware of it. So you wonder when you put something 
somewhere and come back later to find it somewhere else what is 
happening. See the probable worlds can be so close that you can 
hardly tell the difference unless you are extremely observant. I 
know, now that I mentioned this some of you would start saying, oh 
now I see what is happening; now the things that I have seen are 
starting to make sense.

Well there is something more to think about! Remember at the 
beginning I said that we are living in the vortexes of light and 
darkness converging. This causes enormous energy rifts and you might 
say throwing things a little out of balance. The end result is that 
the different probable worlds are bleeding into each other. This is 
the fun part. In our world, there is so much confusion of what is or 
is not everyone seems to believe something else and feels they have 
proof of it and yet can't prove it to someone else. This is because 
of the different worlds bleeding into each other but in a jumbled 
sort of way. I will try to explain it this way. 

You and your neighbor can seemingly live in the same world but 
because of the bleed thru affect he or she is living in a different 
world just as real as yours but not visible to you as some of yours 
is not visible to him or her. Now you might believe in aliens and 
even have seen some, you could have your little toe shot off by one 
and have it on video. As you show it to your neighbor, they will see 
it as a fake and will find people of his reality that will prove it 
to be fake and you will find the ones in your reality that will prove 
it to be real. Confusing isn't it; well that's why we live in such 
confusing times, worlds and so on. Now if you have read my first book 
of sending love and that is real to you because that is the world you 
live in then you will find also people to whom this means nothing, 
because even though you can see them and they can see you they live 
in a reality where it does not exist. Its sort of like, I have a book 
of my reality and you have one of yours and we each take some pages 
out of each others books photocopy them and put them into each others 
books. So there will be certain things we will agree on like your car 
is blue but there are probable realities where your car is red and 
you will find some people who would swear your car was red, but now 
they see that your care is blue. It gets worse the probable worlds 
are mixing together and so causing this confusion but at the same 
time they are constantly shifting so different worlds are constantly 
mixing but at the same time it is not stationary they are constantly 
changing. So, what this means as in the example I gave you from 
exchanging pages in our books of our lives and our realities we 
constantly exchange. See the vortex is constantly mixing the worlds 
together but in an ever-changing way. I will try to give you an 
example. Sometimes someone will have said something to you and later 
they will say that they did not say this and will say that what they 
said was different. Now I'm not talking about people who lie but 
people you know and trust.  I am sure that this will have happened to 
you because you will tell them that you heard them very clearly state 
that they liked something and now they are saying that they have 
never liked that whatever it may be. See that gets very confusing 
because you both feel you are right and in fact, you both are right. 
See if you believe in aliens and it is real to you it is probable 
because in your reality in your world they do exist and your 
neighbors is also right when he/she says that they do not exist 
because in they're world that they live in there are no aliens at 
all. Both worlds are as real as the other and normally would not be 
combining in this way or colliding in this way. Now guess what! There 
is also a reality where your neighbor is believing in aliens and may 
even have seen them and is living in the same world as you but 
because of the vortexes we are in it is not what you are 
experiencing. However, here is the kicker; because of the vortexes 
one day, you could be speaking to your neighbor to find out that 
he/she believes in aliens. Then you will ask when did this happen, 
you never believed in aliens before and your neighbor will look at 
you like you are weird because he/she will say that she has always 
believed and say to you that you have discussed it many times. See 
the probability has shifted but your memories, which should also have 
shifted, did not. Normally your memories will shift as you shift 
around in the probabilities but because of the vortexes this is not 
always happening so you might shift and still remember it as it was 
before. Of course, you will think you are losing it but your not. 
Once you understand what is happening it easier to deal with and can 
be a lot of fun. 

So lets take it one step further. So, you might feel as if this will 
go on forever. No it won't because the vortexes of light and darkness 
mixing is not a reality everywhere in every probability and some time 
you might slowly bit by bit shift into probabilities where that 
vortexes no longer exist. Now! Also, it seems that it depends where 
you live in the world at any particular place will also affect how 
strong these vortexes shift the probabilities around and mixes them. 
Some places are affected more so then others but that also changes 
from time to time. So with all of this some of you who have read my 
first book might ask how does sending love mix with this. 

Well! Regardless where you are in whatever probability in whatever 
world you will have a power source. It may be more apparent to you in 
some and more hidden in others but it will always be there no mater 
what you call it. Because it is what you are without it/you would not 
exist. So what effect does sending love have on this vortex? 

That is an easy one, first you need to remember that you wanted to be 
here and for good reason. It's quite the exciting place. Now sending 
love won't take you out of this unless that is your desire instead it 
will create a vortex of its own, that will bring the best of 
everything to you and you to it and by that giving you the most 
joyful life and experiences. It will attract the best to you at any 
given time. O' there is that word again Time … he's a bad one let me 
tell you. Time is the master of elusions. Time makes you think you 
did something yesterday when in fact you are doing it right now. So 
now, you can imagine if you start kicking in the closed doorways of 
Time that things could get a little hairy. So much so, that what 
might have been another lifetime in how we sometimes perceive things 
can in fact turn into this lifetime mixing with this life. You won't 
know if you are a barbarian dreaming you were and accountant or and 
accountant dreaming you were a barbarian. What happened? All of a 
sudden, the barbarian can count and the accountant wants to work on 
his savage attack plan. O' you see what's happening now don't you!

Shall I go on?




Creating the life we want
 Is a lot like carving stone
Any good sculptor
 Knows that stone is not carved into a form 
But that stone is removed to
 Reveal the form that lies within





One

Summer of 2000, my wife Roberta went to Edmonton to visit her son. I 
decided to stay home to work on various things to do with love 
energy. I had already started on this book a year before but dropped 
it; I was totally unsatisfied with it. In my opinion, it wasn't 
serving any purpose. I was and have been working on something more 
elaborate and productive. At least in my opinion, as usual the 
universe was in disagreement with me. My guides said to finish 
telling the rest of the story before going on to what was next in the 
plan. They said that it would create the foundation for what was to 
come. Also, I had many people write me asking when I would tell the 
rest of the story. To me it is like old news. On the other hand 
coming to an understanding of the power of sending love is a journey, 
not the flick of a switch as I had hoped. Sometimes my impatience 
gets the best of me. 

As I sat there re-reading what I had written I just decided to erase 
it all and go on a short trip to the mountains for some direction. I 
thought that I might go to a power spot not far from Calgary, 
Alberta. There is a large vortex there not unlike what you would find 
in Sedona. This spot is a little different but the same things apply. 
Its funny but people travel all over the world from here to visit 
special places and don't realize that they're within one hour of a 
very special and powerful place. It's just that it has been carefully 
hidden. People assume that some of the most powerful places in the 
world would be marked. Not likely, in fact just the opposite. No 
shaman would be foolish enough to mark these spots so that anyone 
could come there. The only time that happens is when a place has 
changed and is ready for people at large. By that time, shames will 
already have moved tier powers to another spot. If you went there, 
you might see what appears to be a tiny vortex, it is like that of an 
iceberg.

What's underneath would make most other vortexes seem puny. It's not 
for the faint of heart. I tell you more of how to get there and what 
to expect later. For now, let us get to the rest of the story.

After erasing most of what I had written, I drove out to this place. 
On the way, there I passed a certain gas station that had been closed 
for some years. This is the same gas station that I had spoken about 
in the beginning of my first book, Living on Love "The Messenger". 
You can read about what had happened there in that book so I won't go 
into it here. 

While passing that gas station, I thought I should stop for something 
to eat as it was going to be a long hike to the place where I was 
heading. After parking, the car I went into the restaurant part of 
the gas station. It hadn't changed much. There where only a few 
people in the restaurant, mostly truck drivers having some coffee. I 
sat myself on one of the stools at the front counter. The waitress 
was talking to some of the truck drivers so I took a look at the menu 
that was laying there. Under the glass jar was what looked like a 
good homemade apple pie. Before the waitress even got to me, I 
decided on apple pie and hot chocolate. The waitress said goodbye to 
the truck drivers as they left. By the time, she came around the 
counter the people on the other table where getting up to leave also. 
My favorite way to sit in a restaurant, just me, I thought to myself.

"So what can I get you today darling?" Asked the waitress.

I recognized her instantly. It's not a face you can forget. The most 
unlikely looking angel you would ever see. "What a moron you are 
judging people by their looks" I said to myself. One day I'm going to 
rip that part of my brain right out of my head. Sometimes I can't 
stand myself. She wasn't ugly just more of a truck driver than an 
angel. I think that it was fear of being recognized and embarrassed 
that made my judgmental mind come forth like that. After all I owe 
her a lot for the kindness, which she had shown me a long time ago.

"I'll have some apple pie and some hot chocolate thank you," I 
answered sheepishly. The words I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot 
were running around in my mind to the point that it was turning into 
a musical all I needed was the dance of an idiot to complete the 
musicale and that I accomplished as soon as she had put the cup of 
hot chocolate in front of me. 

"There you go darling," She said.  Not only did I manage to spill it 
but also I managed to spill it all down her apron. 

She laughed mostly at the forty shades of red on my face. The cook 
was looking thru the open window where the food was past thru. "Wa 
hoo good one" he yelled my direction laughing

"I'm so sorry are you alright" I asked.

"That's ok Klaus," she answered.

"What! How do you know my know my name?" I asked while trying to help 
clean up.

"Come on now did you think I would forget, aren't you the one that 
was driving up and down the highway a few years ago."

"Ya that was me", I answered embarrassment level nine coming up

"So how do you know my name? Did I tell you my name?"

"Na About three or four weeks ago a couple of ladies came in here 
asking some questions.  Also if I read your book?" She answered 
walking away to get more hot chocolate, while leaving me hanging.   
 
She put the hot chocolate down way passed my reach and preceded to 
get my apple pie.   
Mentally I sent her a message, big piece, big piece, big piece...

It worked; she brought back what looked like it could have been half 
the pie.   
 
"There you go", she said then reaching for the hot chocolate. She set 
the hot chocolate down but still had her hands on it.  My hands were 
on my lap waiting for permission.  

With the other hand, she reached under the bar and pulled out a can 
of whip cream. If an alien came to my house and asked what two 
things, he should see while visiting. I would tell him chocolate and 
whip cream, or better yet both at the same time. It's what life is 
all about. It's what makes me tick.

She held the cup of hot chocolate and the whip cream hostage. Looked 
right at me and said, "So what is the rest of the story?"

I know if I messed around that there wasn't going to be any whip 
cream. Therefore, I answered with a question. "You want to know the 
rest of the story." I asked

"You what some whip cream?" She asked still holding it hostage

"Ok" I said. "But how do you know about the book and what were those 
people asking about" I asked. I admit I was a little worried.

"Ed get your ass our here you are gonna want to hear this" She 
yelled. Almost scaring me to death.

I heard some dishes clang, one minute later I saw a man coming around 
the corner cleaning his hands on a dish rag well the waitress poured 
on the whip cream. It was stacked so high there was no hope of ever 
getting to the hot chocolate. More like a challenge. Just the way I 
like it. Yummy yummy in my tummy.

"What's up Sally" Ed asked while casually standing behind the 
waitress. 
I could see that there were sparks there; more then just co-workers. 
Ed had love in his eyes, no doubt about that. 

"This is Klaus," answered Sally, pointing to me with excitement.
Ed reached out his hand; I lifted mine as we shook hands I could see 
in his eyes that he had no clue as to why I was being introduced.

This is the guy; you know the book, the guy that I told you about 
driving back and forth on the highway... the book that those ladies 
left here.

"No! Really you're the guy" answered Ed, wow what a great book, you 
know I would have had a hard time believing some of the stuff if it 
wasn't for Sally telling me the story about you driving up and down 
the highway

"Thanks, I think?" I said, shoving some pie into my mouth.

"He's going to tell us the rest of the story" said Sally

"I'm in for that," answered Ed. What perfect timing I'll get my 
stuff.

"What's perfect timing? How did you get the book? And what did those 
ladies want?" I asked shoving another piece of apple pie into my 
face. I knew it was going to be now or never.

Ed came flying around the corner at full speed carrying a stool. He 
sat the stool down flopping himself on it as if time was of the 
utmost importance.

"Perfect timing" Ed said, looking at sally.

"We are leaving for Sedona next week" answered Sally

"Why are you going there?" I asked.

Ed looked at Sally; Sally looked at Ed; Ed answered. "We just feel 
it's the right thing to do, its like we are sort of drawn there". 

"We have been saving up for it for a while" responded Sally. We have 
been working on sending love for a while now too and ever since we 
just feel that, we should make the trip.

"Are you planning to live there?" I asked

"O' ya we want to stay for as long as it feels right" answered Ed

"I've always wanted to go there and see it," I answered it just 
hasn't been the time yet, but its defiantly is in the plan. So how's 
sending love going for you." 

"Really well; answered Ed we have done a few experiments with it and 
had some real interesting results". Tell him Sally 

"Actually I would like to know about those ladies and what they 
wanted" I interrupted

"O' they came in here asking some questions about a story they had 
heard about a guy that was driving up and down the highway. Sally was 
laughing now, I told them that I remembered that. At that point, they 
were really excited and wanted to know the whole story. I asked them 
why? And they showed me your book. It wasn't a book but a print out. 
They showed me the part where you write about it. Then I got pretty 
excited because I didn't know the whole story until then. When they 
were ready to go they left the book with me. They also had told me 
that they were going to try and find some special places in the 
mountains that they had heard you knew about. I don't know what that 
was about". 

I dropped my fork. Sun of a… how did they find out about that? I 
mumbled to myself. They're going to get more than what they're 
bargaining for.

"Do you know who they are? Their names" I asked.

"First names only" Sally answered.

"Why what's the problem"? Asked Ed.

I grabbed my cup of hot chocolate and sucked up a pile of loving 
smooth whip cream.

"It doesn't matter now I guess it is what it is, can I give you a 
little suggestion, something to think about before you go to Sedona" 
I answered changing the subject.

"Shore" answered Ed and Sally nodded

"It's like this. I said. Before you go to Sedona and before you go to 
any power spots, it would be very beneficial if you focus on opening 
your hearts and sending love. The power spots will enhance those 
things that are important to you and the things that you are focusing 
on. This is why some people can't handle spending much time there. If 
some one has to many negative thoughts and believes, they will be 
enhanced in the same way. It will focus on what you focus on. Do you 
see what I mean? If you worry you'll have something to worry about. 
If you send love you'll have something to love and will attract more 
love."

"That's a good point," answered Ed.

"We have been working on sending love" answered Sally

"Just keep going with that; it will all work out for you. At least 
that's what I have found from my experiences."

We spent some time just talking back and forth for a while, as I ate 
my pie. I felt the universe had given me an opportunity to tell the 
rest of the story in much the same way as last time. So, I decided to 
accept the offer.



Bring Love

Show me a path that angels fear to tread
I may go in screaming,
I'll probably come out screaming
But no longer will I fear any path
For I only fall when I forget to bring Love






TWO

By the time I was ready to begin telling the rest of the story Ed had 
gotten Sally another stool for her. They seemed to mix well together; 
I liked them and wanted to give them something to begin their new 
journey with love. The gas station was busy but the restaurant was 
empty; several people had looked in but had left abruptly.

Rubbing my forehead I said, "We might as well start at the 
beginning". This story is a lot harder to tell than the first one. 
It's like when you ask a tree to tell you its story, it won't 
understand what you are asking because a tree is more than just 
branches a trunk and roots. Even though every branch and leaf is 
connected they are all experiencing different things, each branch, 
twig and leaf has a life of its own. The tree may be in the forest 
and the sun is shining in but not all the branches are receiving 
sunlight. Some are on the shady moist side and some on the sunny dry 
side. Some branches will feel the force of the storm well others 
hardly know that there is a storm. So depending on what the tree as a 
whole is focusing on will depend on the experience it is having. It's 
like that for people to. We can get fired from a job and feel and 
experience many different things all at the same time but it's the 
things that we mostly focus on that will form our memories. We can 
feel anger, betrayal, and fear, joy, freedom and hope for new 
possibilities all at the same time. I remember being let go from a 
job I didn't like but needed to have for the money. What I remember 
was a feeling of freedom and joy; I savored every moment. The weather 
was sunny and hot and I spent a lot of my time in the park enjoying 
the time and freedom to re-think my life. They're where struggles but 
I don't remember them because I was not focusing on them at all. 
That's where sending love really shines because by doing that you 
would be focusing on positive things and positive possibilities. Even 
without what love can do it would already become a more positive 
situation. Then you add the possibilities of love working for you and 
soon you have a very loving experience what could have been 
devastating. "Do you see what I am saying"? I asked.

"Ya focus and send love and that's what we will find," answered Ed.

"Not only that but that's what we will remember" answered Sally.

"Some things are dramatic enough, I said; that there's only one way 
to see them. Like when a branch is ripped off in a storm. Those are 
also the things that form how we see the world and our lives. How our 
experiences form our personalities. About the only thing that can 
heal those scars and prevent more things like that from happening is 
love and forgiveness. That leaves us with two types of experiences; 
the ones where we can see them as opportunities to see the best in 
what might not appear to be the best and the type of experiences 
where we need to have love and forgiveness to survive them in order 
to not have them affect the rest of our lives".  

There was a moment of silence before I continued.

The first thing we need to discuss is my inability to write. "That's 
right; I said I can't spell at all. I can read fluently but not 
write, at least not in an earth language. I have not been able to 
figure out what purpose it serves for me to be able to write in a 
language that no one but me can read, but that is the way it is". Ed 
was going to say something but I just continued.

Over time I have tried to learn to write but it seems even my 
abilities to learn are blocked. Rather strange, don't you think? 
Especially since my mission in this life was to write two or three 
books on the topic of sending love. This is what I mean; my not being 
able to write is like a branch of my life. But not one I was born 
with, it was one that came after.

"That's something that I always found strange about life," added 
Sally. My mother always said that you would find you gifts in the 
same box as you challenges.

"That's a good point and so true" responded Ed 

"Where did the spelling problem come from"? Asked Sally
"What about the other language"? Asked Ed
"Wow slow down one thing at a time" I responded
"Ya let him tell the story," said Sally poking Ed, which turned into 
a poking match by two people who can't keep their hands of each 
other.

I waited for them to finish their playful teasing and the continued.

See it's hard to say if my spelling problem is a broken branch or an 
added branch. The full verdict is not in yet. So far, my inability to 
write has caused me a lot of trouble and has never gone over well in 
the work place. As you can imagine moving up the ladder could be a 
problem. There is a reason for my inability to write and I guess this 
is where we should start this story on how all of this got started. 
The other language that I am fluent in is a very complex language and 
it would take a long time to learn but it is just there. Once I 
exsplain where the spelling problem came from you might come to the 
same conclusions that I have as to how I ended up able to write in 
another language. This other language is in symbols and each symbol 
is stories as per say. By arranging the symbols and thus the stories 
in a certain order, it creates a new story the one you are trying to 
convey. It is complicated but yet simple, 24 lines of 4 to 8 symbols 
in each line would explain this book. In other words, this book could 
fit on a business card.

I stopped to sip some of my hot chocolate and lit a cigarette.

Ed reached behind himself for an ashtray, which he proceeded to place 
in front of me. I thought that as an ok for me to smoke. 

 "Anyway so here we go," I said. I was born in Germany Freiburg on 
September 24, 1957. Later my parents moved to a tourist town, called 
Titisee in what is called the Black Forest. There they bought a 
hotel; if you were to ask twenty people why it is called Black Forest 
you could get twenty different answers right from simple logical 
ones, as the trees are too black don't go there at night. To me the 
forest was an incredible place of peace, mystery and adventure. 
They're were things there I could not understand but accepted as is. 
The trees, the mystery of the forest was all I needed; that forest, 
those trees were safety and love to me and also my friends. As it 
was, those trees were my only friends. People were very superstitious 
and in my opinion very strange, even though they did not think of 
themselves as such. The town of Titisee could be as quiet as a calm 
lake one moment and as busy as a beehive the next, depending on the 
influx of tourists. The town and the surrounding area were mostly 
hotels smaller tourist shops and farmers. In some ways, it was modern 
but in other ways, it resembled medieval times. Some of the 
population had money while others had very little. The business 
owners drove Mercedes and the farmers still milked cows by hand and 
collected crops like hay and potatoes by hand barely making a living. 
It was as if two worlds were wrapped in one, some peoples main 
concern was where to vacation in the quiet times and others hoping to 
be able to pay the land taxes. Business people lived in fancy places 
while others lived in places that would bring you back two hundred 
years in time. For some people, their houses, pig barns, cow shelters 
and chicken coups were all one building. You could open a kitchen 
door and have the pigs standing in the pen waiting for leftovers 
right there in the next room. This was all very strange to me and 
confusing at best. For some reason even as I am telling you this, I 
can still smell those barn smells that lingered in their homes. 

"When I was overseas with the army I had seen a lot of that; said Ed 
directing it towards Sally as she was making some funny faces. 

"There are still places like that today; not as many though" I 
answered back and continued. At the time I'm speaking of, I was 
between the ages of 6 to 7 years old. My parents were hotel owners 
and worked from early morning until late at night. Closing only as 
the last guest had gone to bed. By this time mother had become very 
sick. At the time, I did not understand what cancer was. She was 
either in the hospital or sick in bed. That meant my father had even 
more work on his hands; so, I grew up without parental supervision 
and very little if any influence from television. This had a very 
bazaar affect on me. There are many things we learn from others 
beginning at an early age. The implications are quite staggering. 
Many people have come to the conclusions that children have certain 
talents that are later suppressed by outside influences. If you 
remove those influences then things can be quite different. I saw the 
world from my own eyes and thoughts, uninfluenced by what others had 
come to believe. I was able to accept or reject what I saw and 
witness without any influence of what a parent or society would have 
you believe. It set me apart and made me an outsider. If a child is 
raised, by a parent that believes certain things regardless if they 
are truth or not there is a high probability that the child will 
accept these things also. Sometimes without question, without those 
influences I saw things quite differently. My actions nor my 
behavior, nor my thinking pattern was modeled after anyone or by 
anyone. 

I stopped for a minute grabbed a napkin and wrote these words down as 
they were flowing into my thoughts.

It seems that in the dark crevasses of our minds there linger 
thoughts that we dare not speak or act upon for fear of reprisal of 
others. There are also things we dare not believe for the same 
reasons. Sometimes we create that which we believe after we have been 
convinced that it is the truth and there by creating it to be the 
truth when in fact it is nothing more than an elusion of the truth. 
We can become so convinced that even when evidence of the opposite is 
there we refuse to see it. Sometimes we become convinced that it is 
better to live a lie than to face the hardship of truth. That is 
something we all know to well. But by living that lie we pass it on 
to our children. That is a crime that I too am guilty of even though 
I know better.

After writing it out I read it back to Ed and Sally.

"Do you always write things down as they come to you"? asked Sally.

"I try to; I said answering back you never know if it's useful. If 
you get it written down and get a chance to look at it some time 
later".

Anyway getting back to the story, I suppose because of my 
independence and need to fend for myself I began rejecting most 
everything I heard from others. I had no friends at all. The wealthy 
did not want their children playing with me because I was not 
controllable and did not see value in what they had. Parents of poor 
families did not want me playing with their children either but 
mostly due to fear and superstition, for some reason they thought I 
was something evil or whatever. I could see it in their eyes and 
their actions at times they where almost afraid of me and yet lost as 
to why. There was the odd person that had showed me kindness but 
seldom and limited to who else was watching.

"Strange isn't it? I said in some ways it was almost like living in 
the dark ages". 

Regardless I moved along quite happily spending most of my time in 
the woods or at the lake. I did have what you might call an invisible 
friend; I have explained this in my first book but unfortunately, I 
cannot elaborate on this friend or our interaction. The memories are 
just too vague and there are only bits and pieces flashes and 
glimpses. I know there was more, but at this moment, the door to that 
part of my mind is closed. I have kicked it and banged on it but it 
refuses to open. So, for now I'll leave this and go on with the rest 
as I remember it.

I asked sally for some water and waited for her before continuing.
***
Because of my parents being busy running the hotel and of course my 
mother being very sick I had total freedom to travel where ever I 
wanted and do whatever I wanted to do. I don't think it bothered me 
to be alone, besides I was not totally alone. Looking back now I can 
remember that I felt like I was being watched, perhaps even taken 
care of, I could feel it and sense it especially in the woods. One of 
the first incidences that come to mind was when I took a wagon home 
that I found in the woods; it was a big wagon for hauling firewood 
and had big wooden wheels. I wasn't trying to steel it just borrow it 
for a while. It seemed the perfect wagon to go down hill with and I 
had the perfect hill in mind. It was a long narrow road right beside 
our hotel, very steep but straight, well almost. This was not a one-
day plan and it took careful planning. A half a day to get the wagon 
to the hill and up it, then to ride it down several times and then to 
return it the next day.

I headed out early in the morning to retrieve the wagon. While 
dragging it through the woods, I kept getting shivers up my spine. 
Stopping many times to look around, seeing nothing I continued on my 
journey.

Eventually after getting it to the destination on top of the hill I 
was preparing to ride it down as a boy named Richard came along. I 
had seen him many times on my travels and thought that he might want 
to be friends with me but I think he was a little scared of being 
seen with me. He asked me what I was doing and I proceeded to explain 
it to him with great excitement of what fun it was going to be. While 
I had made my first sale and he wanted to come along. Jumping into 
the wagon, I told him to sit in the back and run the brakes and I 
would do the steering. After explaining how to use the stick I gave 
him as brakes by rubbing it against the tire we where off. Our speed 
went past my expectations and all previous tests. The speed became a 
problem perhaps because of the extra weight and the brakes were 
pretty much useless. Even though our speed had increased to such a 
level that Richard needed to toss the brakes just to be able to hang 
on, the next problem was coming along a lot faster then anticipated; 
steering was having very little affect. The wooden wheels were 
surrounded with a layer of steel where they made contact with the 
pavement. I turned the wheel turned towards the small patch of grass 
at the end of the road just before it ran into the main highway the 
wheels were not griping. Even if they had it would not helped much at 
this speed for there would be no way to stop once we reached the 
short patch of grass. The patch of grass was just a short patch 
leading to an embankment that dropped straight on to the highway. 
There was no time left for anything except to accept things as they 
are. Not a moment to soon the wheels started to grip and we were 
turning. Twenty feet on to the grassy patch the wagon came to a 
sudden halt. It didn't just stop; the front wheels locked and the 
cart tilted upwards catapulting us out like rockets. We were in the 
air for at least another twenty feet but for some reason Richard 
seemed to pass me in mid air and hit the ground a split second before 
me actually cushioning my fall because I landed on top of him. After 
picking ourselves up, I walked to the wagon to see what stopped it 
there was nothing there not even a rock. The wagon path was 
completely clear of obstruction. Richard just stood where he had 
landed and would not come any closer to the wagon. Pushing the wagon 
back and forth, I said it was fine; Richard turned and walked away. 
Obviously this was not the day for new alliances or friendships, all 
because a slight miscalculation.

"There could be a reason why you had no friends"; Interrupted sally 
laughing holding her head as if there was a disaster in the making.

"Could happen to anyone! Answered Ed smiling, wish I were there".

"My sediments exactly"! I said.

"You could have been killed!" Responded Sally.

"Ah! Whatever…" I said shrugging it off. Regardless, 1 to 2 years 
later we did become friends for a brief moment in time. From what I 
had heard, he became an electrician and has a family of his own. 
Sometimes I wonder what his side of the story would sound like. It 
would not have been the same with out him!

"Well I bet you won't do that again," Answered sally.

"To late did it with my son; I said he still talks about it today. 
Calls it the day my dad took me flying. Nevertheless, that's another 
story for another time.





I wish

O' star so bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may wish I might
To have the dream
I LoveD last night







THREE

After sally calmed down, I continued with the story.

Although there where many strange things that occurred in the woods 
this was the first of a four incidences that I can put into words. 
Before we go on to a really bazaar incident I can tell you about one 
strange place in the woods. There was a small pond where I spent a 
lot of time. At one end of the pond, there was a trail with many 
trails used but hardly anyone would ever go to the other end of the 
pond. I personally spent a lot of time there and felt safer then at 
home. One particular time some kids were chasing me and wanted to 
beat me up. They had chased me for a long time but the woods were my 
home and I know them well. The chase continued until I made it to the 
end of the pond and that is as far as they would go. They would take 
a few steps but then quickly retreat. I know that would happen 
because many people thought that it was haunted.

I never saw anything other than perhaps out of the corner of my eyes 
but I could feel something and sense it. Years later as I learnt 
remote viewing and I discovered that at that time there was a small 
race of beings that had lived there for a long time. Unfortunately, 
they have long left. They are many more things that went on in those 
woods. Also, I do remember having what some might call an invisible 
friend that I spent time with in the woods but the door to those 
memories are shut tight. What I do remember are some pieces to small 
to make head or tales out of, as if looking thru a keyhole I can see 
that I was having long conversations with someone but how or what was 
said is closed. Personally, I think that now would be a good time to 
remember so I can write it out and be done with it. I am positive 
that there was a lot more going on in the woods at that small pond. 
Even later in my life as I learned to remote view most of what went 
on there was blocked. I could tell that there where beings living 
there perhaps as many as sixty but I could not interact with them. 
They knew I was there looking but would not acknowledge my presence. 
Therefore, for now I will tell you of what I remember, I think that 
will be enough to swallow for the time being. Perhaps I don't really 
want to remember. Perhaps that's a clue of why some memories are 
blocked. Or maybe not.

"What's remote viewing" asked Ed

It is a way of going somewhere to see what is there with your mind 
without taking your body. It is something like traveling out of your 
body but more common and a lot easier to learn. You can read about it 
on the Internet. It is very common. Anyway, I left my dog in the car 
and he is probably wondering where I am. I'm going to let him run 
around for a bit then we can continue.

"Why don't you bring him in"? Asked Ed

"Well I don't want to cause you trouble".

"Na; as long as he sits quietly somewhere no one will even notice".

"Fine with me" I said getting up.

I let Roody run around for a while, gave him some water, and then 
brought him in. he found himself a corner and flopped down content 
with life as usual.








Together with Love

Together with Love
We stand
For the whole is stronger
Than its parts
Together as one
With love and trust
We stand
Against the fears of the
Past, present, future
Love bends us beyond foolish temptation of fears
Our love is what gives us strength
Our love gives us trust
Our Dreams give us
The life we have
Wanted for so long
As we allow us to become One but Individual
We grow beyond our Dreams
So it is








FOUR

"I think he's a little upset at not going for a walk but I told him 
we'll go tomorrow," I said to Ed and Sally.

"Have you had him for a long time" Asked Ed.

"O' ya since the holy terror of puppy hood, I said, I am not even 
going to get into that".

He is so relaxed! Responded Sally, you're probably exaggerating".

"Ya you go with that; the two of us know better" I answered while 
Roody waged his tail as if to say its all in a days work. I love you 
and to show you how much I missed you I will eat your house. 

After we rambled back and forth for a while I suggested that it is a 
long story and if they wanted to hear it, we need to get back to it. 
Everyone agreed so I continued.

"What comes next will be a little wierd and will probably raise a lot 
of questions; I said regardless I will not answer any questions 
regarding it so you will need to come to terms with it for yourself". 

Sally and Ed both nodded their heads in agreement, but probably a 
little leary of what was coming. 

It was the summer of my turning seven, I was returning home from my 
usual expeditions. I decided to take a short cut thru an area I did 
not usually like. It was a pathway between two rows of houses. The 
path was mostly straight except for two sharp turns. Both sides of 
the path were lined with very high and thick hedges. All you could se 
was the path. The reason I did not like it was that I could get 
trapped there because there was only one way in and one way out. Also 
because of the sharp turns it made I could not tell how or what I was 
going to run into. One time I was trapped in-between two mean dogs 
they were snarling and showing their teeth and coming closer, looking 
like they were going to attack. There was no place for me to go the 
hedge was too thick and there was no way of passing the dogs. I had 
tried to go towards in hope that it would back away but it just moved 
in closer and became more vicious. It was what seemed like a long 
time before someone came to scare them away. The person that came to 
help was an old man. He seemed to appear out of nowhere standing 
beside me. I saw him only a few times in my life.

"The old man in the bar you talked about in the book" Asked Sally.

"Ya; I answered but we will get to that shortly". As soon as the old 
man showed up the dogs took off with their tail between their legs. 
As soon as the dogs left I was out of there without a word. That 
incident scared me enough that I would never take that path again. It 
was totally out of the ordinary for animals to behave that way 
towards me. Plus I had never seen those dogs before.

The only reason for me to take that path this time again was that it 
was a short cut home. I was hungry and tired so I decided to take 
another chance. As I cautiously approached the pathway, I stopped to 
look and listen for anything or anyone. The coast seemed clear. I 
started of slowly and quietly then began to speed up as I past the 
first turn all you can see is hedges no entrance nor exit not until 
you pass the next turn.  I heard a loud high-pitched sound that hurt 
my ears. I placed my hands over my ears and must have closed my eyes 
for a second because when I opened them I was somewhere else. 

At that time in my life, I had never heard of aliens or space ships. 
I had never even seen anything on TV as to that existing. However, 
what I had heard of was elves and I had heard many people mention 
them, although I don't remember ever seeing any of them. I have had 
people say to me or ask me if I was afraid of the elves and witches. 

So there, I was still holding my hand over my ears but standing in 
front of what I thought was an elf. I just stood there, looking at 
him and glancing around at where I was. The elf was about the same 
height as me but funny looking. He had clothes on something like that 
of nuns or priests, but not white nor black. Dark green like that of 
a tree. The best way to describe him is to say he looked like an 
alien described as grays. If you have seen pictures of them just 
think of them a little shorter and stockier, shorter neck and smaller 
eyes. Although his eyes were very large in comparison to mine and 
very dark almost black but not black. No hair on his face or on his 
head but he did have pointy cheeks unlike some of the pictures I have 
seen of what grays supposedly looked like. The room was shiny 
metallic like that of mag wheels but there was no reflection. He put 
out his hand to shake hands. I let go of my ears but didn't touch 
him. Nothing about him or the room I was in seemed threatening. He 
told me that everything is ok and he wanted to be my friend. I 
suppose that might have been the magic word. There were no words I 
heard him in my head. However, I heard him loud and clear. He moved 
over to a table not much higher then a chair and asked me if I would 
sit here, pointing with his long bony fingers. I didn't mind him nor 
how he looked but I did not like his hands. They looked too much of 
what you could call hands of a witch. He must have understood and 
seemed to let his sleeves slide over his hand so all I could see was 
his fingers. Without question, I went to sit on the table. As I muved 
my feet seemed to be sticky on the floor, just enough so you could 
not slide them. He talked to me for a while asking me things like if 
I was still afraid of those dogs. Then he began to explain where I 
was and who he was. Even though it did not make a lot of sense to me, 
he still tried to explain. He said that he was from the stars that 
you could see at night and that we were in a ship that could fly from 
star to star. He said that he came to help me and wanted to change 
something in me. Then he asked if that was ok. I sort of said ok. 
However, it was as if he did not ask me he seemed to ask something in 
me and I could sense that something in me said ok. Looking at it from 
what I know to day; I would say he was asking a larger part of me for 
permission, perhaps my soul or higher self. I myself trusted him, for 
some reason I did not get any negative feelings from him and there 
was a feeling that he really cared. That is not what I got from other 
people. Therefore, in a sense it was nice. A door opened but it was 
not a door it was like a piece of the wall disappeared. Two others 
like him came in and I could see thru the opening in the wall that 
there were others sitting around a pedestal of light or something in 
that affect. The two that came in spoke to me but I do not remember 
what was said, most likely just friendly stuff to keep me at ease. 
They went to the backside of the table where I was sitting. He told 
me that I would need to sit very still and not to move my head. He 
said that a few times and each time I nodded my head until I finally 
caught on to that I was moving. He seemed amused by that and I know 
it was keeping me busy while the others were doing something behind 
me. I asked if it was going to hurt because if it does I am out of 
here. He said no. They put something into the back off my neck and I 
could feel it going down my spine wrapping itself around my spine. 
There was no pain and he kept talking to me saying that it was fine. 
He was asking me questions about sword fighting, which I did a lot of 
using sticks of course. But the fact that he had interest is what was 
important to me. I was thinking that I might have a friend. Whatever 
went down my neck was left there, that was also, what he said. Then 
he asked if they could give me something so that he could always find 
me and I agreed, thinking that I was going to get something very cool 
to play with. He explained otherwise and showed it to me. It was so 
tiny that you could hardly see it. Then he said it would go here 
pointing to the back of his neck not realizing until it was to late 
that his bony hands were showing again. 

Something was placed beside me on the table, which I slowly tried to 
slide into my pocket. However, something grabbed it and slowly pulled 
it back out. Then he said that they were going to place something 
over my head and to be very still. I could not see it but it made my 
skull feel like Jello and I could feel it coming apart. That's the 
best of my recollection. In a while, everything seemed all right 
again and he asked me to stand back where I first arrived. He said 
that he had to go now and not to tell anyone about this. I agreed and 
heard a loud noise like before I placed my hands over my ears and in 
that moment, I was standing back on the path by the hedges. 
Everything was fine except that I could not remember how to get home 
or exactly where I was. The memory of all the paths I had traveled 
was gone. I had absolutely no clue as how to get home or where home 
might be.

That's when I spotted the old man; I walked up to him thinking he 
might know where I live and how to get there. Old people are like 
that they always know everything. They always seem to know what 
everyone is doing. I was right he told me where to go and what 
direction to turn, as I would get to a certain spot. At that time, I 
did not understand left and right. Frankly, it still does not make to 
much sense even to day. From what I gather and half the population 
agrees with me; and the other half thinks they have it down pat. 
Anyway, I started to walk and after a few turns I could see the 
hotel. By the time I got there my memory had come back, everything 
was back to normal, and my normal routine, find food and have a nap. 
There wasn't any discomfort in neither my neck nor my back but my 
neck was a little itchy and still is to day at times.

I looked at Sally and Ed. It seemed that they were rather speechless. 
Shit happens but if you close your eyes then sometimes it gets 
bigger, I thought to myself.

"Well! Do you want me to continue or what"? I asked.

"O' ya answered Ed you just caught me of guard, I've read some books 
on abductions I just wasn't expecting that.

"I was just trying to figure out what they were doing to you" 
Answered Sally.

I just shrugged my shoulders and sat there.

"Is there more of that and is that the whole story" Asked Ed.

"Ya, there is more of that but that's not the whole story" I said.

"Ya don't want to answer any questions at all about it," Asked Sally

"What's your question?" I asked.

Did anything change after that, like was there something different 
about you? Asked Sally

"I can answer that I responded; but I wouldn't mind having something 
to drink first.

"What can I get you, asked Ed more hot chocolate"?

"No something cold, got any root beer"?

"You bet, root beer coming up" Answered Ed











A Small Voice


A Small Voice
Is
Like the wind, that guides our sails across the water

The strength of that voice, our ability to hear it

Will guide us across the waves of the storm that rides within our 
souls

With this, our dreams will become our reality


Roberta Joehle








FIVE


After Ed gave me some root beer and I lit another cigarette slowly 
watching those smoke curls that I love so much I continued with 
Sally's question.

Two things did change after I had been picked up. One was my 
strength-increased dramatically. Anywhere in the range of two to 
three times the normal strength; although I can't see any reason for 
this being done nor any purpose in it, it did become useful to me in 
a few ways but not that beneficial for my body. I really think that 
it was either a side affect or an experiment. Over the years, I 
forgot about it but back when it first happened it came in very 
handy. 

I had found an old wooden boat that had been left abandoned in a dry 
riverbed. To me it was a dream come true. My very own boat, I could 
see it had cracks in it and would sink fast if it was in the water. 
However, that was not the only problem. It was a long way from the 
lake and I would need to get it over a 15-foot high dam before 
hitting the water. The boat was also very heavy. It was the same as 
the boats that they would rent at the lake. Usually it took two big 
farm boys to drag them back to the boathouses. It was just a matter 
of what I wanted, not what was possible or not. First, I went to see 
the rental guys and asked them how to fix a boat like theirs. They 
told me to use some tar and even gave me some old can that had a 
little in the bottom. I knew what they were up to. They thought that 
I would get the stuff all over me and they thought that would be 
funny. I suppose it came to that but they never saw it, so there! The 
project of fixing this boat and launching it in the lake took about 3 
days. The last day was the longest. After patching it all up and then 
covering the tar with paper so as not to get anymore on me, I 
proceeded with the plan of sliding it to the dam. This did not take 
that long but getting it over the dam was something else. I gathered 
up ropes and sticks to begin the lifting, pushing the boat up and 
tightening the rope over and over until I had it over the dame. I can 
guarantee you that this would have normally been impossible for 
someone my age and weight. Regardless believe what you will. Once it 
was over the dam, it was just a matter of getting it across and over 
a sort railing. By the time, I got it in the water it was already 
getting dark. It seemed to be leaking a bit so before lunching my 
very first boat I would need something to bail with. At that time, I 
could not swim and did not want to take the chance of it filling with 
water.

"O' no not again" Interrupted Sally laughing and shaking her head.
 
"You just don't get it that's what life is all about" I answered 
shaking my head as if she was the one that was crazy.

"Anyway" I said, my plan was to get the boat back to a place where 
very few people ever went. I felt that would be a good place to hide 
it. Just a matter of getting across the lake, I could already see the 
question on Sally's face so I answered it.

"IT'S A BIG LAKE"! I said smiling and continued, by the time I shoved 
off it was getting very late, my best guess would be midnight. I know 
that because I was about a 100 feet from shore taking in a fair bit 
of water when I saw my half brother come barreling to the shore with 
his bike. What a baby. He was yelling at me and waving his hands. 
Screaming like a lunatic that I should get back here right now. What 
a goof I had plans of my own, I proceeded to paddle faster. Paddling, 
bailing paddling bailing, it has a nice ring to it. I could not 
believe my eyes; he jumped in the water and began swimming for me. 
Tossing the bailing can, I paddled like never before while yelling at 
him to get lost. It wasn't exactly warm out and neither was the 
water. I discovered for myself just how cold it was when he caught up 
to me and literally yanked me out of the boat into the water. I 
couldn't swim and must have taken in a fair bit of water by the time 
we hit shore. The only thing I remember was him making me run home 
while he was yelling at me. The next morning I was out before anyone 
could get a hold of me. But my boat was gone. Over the next few days, 
I scrounged up some money and rented a small boat. I found it, twenty 
feet under water. I tried hooks and ropes and it almost capsized the 
boat I was in, I wanted to get it back to shore but to no avail. Now 
that I am over forty I realize that I have dreamt of having a 
sailboat but have never gone for it. Some things really stick with 
ya. However, this coming summer we are going to change all that. Now 
it's just a matter of convincing my wife that I am a born sailor and 
as safe to sail with as possible. I'm thinking of leaving this story 
out just to make it a little easier. What do you think Sally". I 
asked

"That might be a good idea" answered Sally laughing

We spent a few minutes talking back and forth regarding my not being 
necessarily the easiest child to raise. I disagreed after all I was 
just fine if everyone just would leave me alone.




How Do I Know What's Right for Me?

If I allowed myself to eat all the ice cream, I desired 
Would I then crave peas?

If our reality is created by our thoughts and beliefs!

Why do we punish ourselves by creating nasty side effects? 
To something 
As wonderful and loving as ice cream?

And why and who made crappy peas good for ya







SIX



My mother died not long after that incident of the short cut home. 
Other than school, cutting into my freedom not much changed until the 
summer of turning nine. Just before school would have ended, I was 
unwillingly involved in a fight at school. It was lunchtime and all 
the kids were playing in the front schoolyard. I was at the back 
entertaining myself as usual when some kids decided to gang up to 
beat me up. There were about eight of them and one leader they had me 
cornered. Their self-proclaimed leader was moving forward and the 
small mark in the back of my neck began to tingle and got very itchy. 
In a few seconds everything changed, I knew exactly what to do. Take 
out the leader and the rest will fall, the leader jumped forward to 
grab me I moved sideways and grabbed him, two seconds later he was 
laying on the cement out cold. Even though he was bigger than me I 
had turned him upside down and hammered him into the cement head 
first, the other kids took off in a hurry.

It was my word against theirs. Not long after that, I was told that I 
would be going to Canada to live with my aunt and uncle. I did not 
understand what Canada was nor where it was but I wasn't concerned, 
because I thought I could always take the train home. In Europe, you 
can take the train almost to every town you want. People told me that 
in Canada there where Indians and cowboys like the Wild West I had 
seen on TV. I was not too impressed by that but I figured it would be 
an adventure. 

My dad had taken me to a big office building to fill out some papers 
and get my passport. I remember him getting mad at me for not knowing 
how to spell my name. My first name I could spell but not my last. 
Later we went to get a suit for me, the one they had picked out did 
not have any pockets on the inside. I had a plan and I needed 
pockets, lots and lots of pockets. After making a big enough of a 
fuss I got my pockets lots of them. Sometimes you gotta stand for 
what you want and settle for no less.

The plane trip to Canada was very long and uneventful except a trip 
to the cockpit the man in charge would not let me fly the plan so I 
wondered why he was wasting my time showing it to me. All it is a 
tiny room filled with buttons that your not allowed to touch. What 
fun is that?

Sally was rubbing her for head again. I was going to ask if she was 
getting a headache, I let it go and continued.

 Drank lots of pop and went to the bathroom a million times. The 
toilet was the most interesting thing on the plane. I would flush it 
and run to the window because some man said that I could see it going 
out if I was really fast. I did not believe him but it was worth 
trying anyway. I had come to the conclusion long ago that people did 
not always know the difference of what they know or did not know. 
Many times people think they know something and they don't. Many 
times people think they don't know something and they do but don't 
realize it. I had noticed that people's thoughts and words do not 
even come close to being the same. Obviously, I now fit into that 
category to. However, I didn't at that time. I either said nothing or 
said what I was thinking. I kept this up well past my 30's before I 
came to realize it was best for me to just shut up. Anyway, I am 
rambling.

Arrival time came at last and so did customs. The man asked me 
something in a language I did not understand. He was laughing but 
sent me a mental picture of me carrying a big gun, so I began to show 
him mine. First one gun then another then another then another then a 
knife and another and another and my blowgun and a billions of caps. 
From one pocket from another pocket, you get the picture. He was 
impressed and so were about 50 other people.

I think he told me to put it all back. You see there was no way in 
hell that I was going to be scalped without a fight. Indians and 
cowboys is all I knew of Canada and so that is what I expected. I 
expected chuck wagons and dusty deserts. Well you can imagine my 
disappointment when all I saw was a city. Vancouver BC, that's where 
I landed. Rosedale near Chilliwack, BC is where I would spend many 
years.

"Wow where did you keep all those guns" Asked Ed laughing.

"In my pockets I answered I had lots of pockets".

"You didn't think that a cap gun was going to save you did you" asked 
Sally shaking here head

"Of course I did if there was going to be shooting how are thy going 
to know that it's not a real gun, I said sometimes a bark is better 
then a bite". Besides, they are not ordinary cap guns I redesigned 
them, silly. Takes a long time to stick those caps together but you 
get one big bang and a lot of smoke. Your just like my wife you just 
don't understand the big bang theory. No, bang no interest. I tried 
to tell my wife the story of when I got my fire truck, but she didn't 
see my point at all.

"O" so you think the women don't understand your big bang theory," 
responded Sally

Ed was being remarkably silent which is what I should have been. 
Sometimes you are cornered and there is a chance of getting out and 
other times its best to accept that you're going down in flames. This 
was looking like one of those times.

Well some can and some can't. I said squirming hoping I could figure 
a way out of this corner. It is like this, there was a girl that was 
the daughter of another hotel owner and she use to come around and 
always wanted to play with me but I didn't like her.

"O" so you could have had friends you just did not what them to be 
girls now I see" Interrupted Sally.

"No No that's not it I said, it's just that she was a tattle tale. 
Once I got this fire truck that squirted water out of a hose on the 
ladder. I had this truck in my fort under some concrete stairs. The 
stairs where closed off except a tiny hole which I could fit thru. 
She wanted to know where my fire truck was and I said that I would 
show her if she promised not to tell anyone, she agreed. So, I showed 
her my fort and by the way, what good is a water squirting fire truck 
without fire. So, I lit a small candle to show her how well the truck 
works. I barely had the candle out when she shoots out of the fort 
and went straight to my dad. Of course, that was the end of my fire 
truck, never saw it again and the fort was sealed off. So there, a 
promise is a promise is a promise.

"You could have been hurt" Said Sally.

Ya I could have been lost in the woods and starved, could have had 
the plane go down and crash, could have been kidnapped held for 
ransom and cut to pieces, could have died of loneliness or broken 
heart from broken promises. We seem bet on protecting everyone from 
the possible but seem to miss what is already happening. 

"I think that you're right Sally; interrupted Ed but there is a story 
in the story that Klaus is telling". 

I think I should go home this is all coming out wrong. How much do I 
owe for the bill? I asked standing up.

Sally jumped off her stool and said, "I didn't mean to upset you"!

"No it came out all wrong," I answered I just realized what was 
bugging me about that all these years. I do not know why I did not 
see it before. 

I sat back down and thought about it for a few minute. We all sat in 
silence while I contemplated my new old forgotten decision.

"Can I get you anything? asked Sally I feel kind of bad".

No, you said what was on your mind and it was the perfect thing to 
say. "Maybe I will have another hot chocolate with some whip cream 
just to ease the pain," I said smiling.

I got up and paced back and forth for a bit. Shaking my head, I said 
that I could not believe that I missed this all this time, 
Unbelievable!

"I could see how you might be upset at women; you have carried this 
with you for a long time and projected it forward" Added Ed while I 
was pacing.

"No that's not it," I answered still pacing I had a similar thing 
happen a few years later with a boy. I don't care about that I was 
upset at losing the fire truck and my fort and I was upset at her but 
not for what she did but why she did it. It was not her either she 
was just the straw that had broke the camels back.  

"Sally came back with the hot chocolate while adding some whip cream 
she said. I heard what you said but there is question still burning 
in my mind. I hope you don't mind me asking".

Ed spoke up laughing, "That's my Sally always saying what's on her 
mind no matter what".

Stick with it its working even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes" 
I answered, what's the question?

What happened to that boy, did he die"? 

"No the kid who started the trouble did not die. He just spent a week 
in the hospital and a few more weeks in bed at home. I went to see 
him to apologize. His parents left the room for a minute and that is 
when he apologized to me. I don't think that I ever saw him after 
that" I answered.

"So what's up with the fire truck thing" Asked Sally.

Approval I said that is what it was all about getting love thru 
approval. She did not want me to get into trouble she needed love and 
the only way she knew how to get it was by getting approval for her 
actions. You have to remember that I heard people's thoughts so I 
knew what was going on and I had seen that many times in everybody. 
Almost everyone's thoughts are based on getting approval and by that 
getting love. Even trying to be successful at something seemed to be 
based on approval. Think about it we all want to be successful at 
what we do but how much is based on approval to get love. Really 
think about it how many of our actions, decisions, words and the 
things we do are based on getting approval in some way and by that 
getting a feeling of love. If you need love bad enough and by that 
approval then it becomes hard, to tell the difference between what we 
really want to do and what is about approval. You see I said, sitting 
down now. I had decided never to do anything for approval and only 
that which was right for me. I know what your thinking Sally a child 
does not necessarily have the life experience to know exactly always 
what is right for them but that's a learning experience no more 
dangerous then doing things for approval and love.

This has caused so much grief in my life and why I was missing so 
much love. I wasn't getting approval from people for what I was doing 
so I was not getting any love either. The problem is that there needs 
to be a balance and I went to the opposite end. I'm not sorry for 
that I just did not understand it all until today. Do you see what I 
mean?

"More then I want to answered Ed more than I want to"…

I agree answered Sally I'll have to give that some more thought".

Me too I responded anyway do you want to hear the rest".

"Definitely" answered Ed. "Definitely" answered Sally.

OK then lets leave this for some other time of contemplation.







Perceptions

A student walking along with his master teacher 
Saw a green stick lying on the ground and asked his master teacher
What is color?
At that moment the master picked up the stick and said
Green is the color you will hate and fear
Then he struck him many times
As he laid the stick down, he said
That is how your perceptions of what is, is colored!
Only Love sees clearly beyond color, words and action
This color that stick my actions will be like a thorn that only 
Forgiveness of Love can remove
Until then, it will be a burden of sword and shield...
Color is a perception






SEVEN

"I think that I am going to move forward in time and get all the 
alien encounters over with before moving on" I said continuing with 
the story. 

My next encounter was just shortly after turning sixteen. I had my 
driver's license and was just returning from spending time with some 
friends. That is right I had some friends mostly short term but 
friends never the less. Anyway ten minutes from home my car started 
to act up and finally quit running. At the time I was driving an old 
beetle I got out of the car and was going to open the back hatch when 
I heard a high pitched sound same as before. Two seconds later I was 
again in the same ship as before looking at the same elf or alien as 
before. This took me by surprise for I had come to the conclusion 
that the first time was just a dream. He greeted me and asked how I 
was. It took a while but we ended up talking for what seemed a long 
time. I told him all that had happened and some of the trouble I was 
having in school not being able to read and write. I cannot honestly 
remember all that was said but a lot of it only had to do with my 
life. I even asked if I could go with them. He said that I could not 
do that yet but maybe some day. I asked to see the ship but he said 
that we were running out of time and that I could only stay on this 
ship for only so long before I would lose my balance on my reality. I 
did not fully understand that. However, I think I do now. He said 
that they could probably fix my writing and reading part if I want, I 
said OK. He asked me to sit on the same table as before and two 
others came in who then stood behind me. Even though I was told to be 
very still I now could see that certain gadgets were coming from an 
opening in the ceiling. Something was placed over my scull and I 
could feel my scull turning soft like jello. He was saying certain 
things to me that did not totally make sense at the time. He said 
that it would help but not be perfect for they could only do so much 
without causing problems with other things that they wanted to stay 
the same; whatever that meant. He also said that they would be 
opening something that would mean I would understand some things 
without learning them and to not to worry, I still trusted him and 
agreed. However, something went wrong and I could sense the urgency 
from him and from the two behind me. There was a split second where I 
could have sworn that I was someone else but then everything went 
black. The next thing I know I was sitting back in my car but I could 
not remember who I was. It was as if I was on some alien planet 
everything looked strange. This is hard to explain. I still 
remembered everything but not as mine, it was as if I had stepped 
into someone else's life. You might relate this to what some call 
walk-ins but I don't think so. The rest of the story later might be a 
clue. You see in our minds and in our DNA lies all we have ever done 
and known in this life and others past and probable. However, you 
want to see it. I think that something had opened to far when they 
were working on me and I think they either were not able to close it 
all the way or were trying to keep it open a certain amount. That is 
why I can now write and speak in several different languages that are 
not recorded in our history. However, not in English?

"I'm not sure if I get what you are trying to say" interrupted Ed.

"Well that makes two of us," I said laughing. What I am trying to say 
is that what we try to learn is already there in our minds as we 
think we are learning something it is just slowly being released 
which gives us the appearance that we are learning it, when in fact 
we already have it. I think you will see what I mean; there is a 
theory that I agree with and it is that all the knowledge that we 
have learnt over our lifetimes if stored in our DNA like a program in 
a computer. Our minds are there to access this information if we know 
how, Se what I mean.

"Sort of I guess," answered Ed.

 OK so over the next, few weeks' things balanced out but my spelling 
did not improve one bit. On the other hand, I could read fluently and 
became so obsessed with my new talent that I skipped so many classes 
that the teachers knew where to find me. I was in the library reading 
everything. You could usually find me in behind a stack of books 
reading two or three at once. Most of the teachers seemed content to 
leave me there. Sometimes they asked a few questions about what I was 
reading and seemed satisfied enough with the answers to leave me 
there. So there, you go make of it what you want. One day I cannot 
read and a few days later, I can. It was not long before I began 
reading anything I could get my hands on as far as metaphysical 
stuff, out of body travel, science and so on. I should tell you that 
I do not totally read as you do I see pictures. The words form 
pitcures. I may read about atoms but I see different pictures than 
what is written or drawn. Science has a long way to go, what I call 
the underground science has understanding of things that the public 
scientists have no clue of even being possible. Anyway, I had better 
stop with that this is not what this story is about so we will move 
along.

"Wait a minute what about what you call the underground science." 
Asked Ed leaning forward.

"I cannot get into that it will take us way of base," I answered.

Ed would not leave it alone. Therefore, we probably spent the next 
half an hour discussing various aspects of what some call the 
underground science. I'm not going to get into that in this book 
because my purpose is to discover the power behind love not the 
conspiracy theory. There are many books on the market that will give 
you much to think about. If you want proof all you need to do is 
learn to either travel out of your body or if that scares you then 
learn to remote view. I'd say have fun but that is not a discovery 
that you are going to like.

Besides, until you learn about sending love there will be nothing you 
can do about it. So, my suggestion is that you first become a master 
at sending love. Do, as you will.










IF this is not your planet, 
Then get lost!!!







EIGHT

OK so only two more to go are you ready I asked before continuing.

The next and second last time I had a visited was years later. By 
that time, I was married and had a son. I owned and operated a small 
dairy farm just south of Spedden Alberta.
It was very late at night I had to get up and go to the barn to check 
on a pregnant cow that was ready to give birth. After getting to the 
barn and checking on the cow I pushed some hay up that the other cows 
had pushed back trying to get at the best stuff first. 

I was very depressed in those days. I loved my cows and enjoyed 
farming but at the same time, I felt like I was wasting my life away. 
I had different plans at one time of writing out theories, ideas and 
things that I had come to understand; but due to my inability to 
right had lost my confidence. Also, it seemed that no one believed in 
even the simplest things I discovered. As an example, if you look at 
some farms you will notice that most of the wooden fences have been 
chewed on. This is not because of a need to chew, but because the 
animals are missing certain forms of minerals. It took a while to 
figure out what they were and in what form they need to be, but never 
the less I figured it out. The people at the animal research station 
were not interested even though they had come to my farm several 
times to try to figure out what I was doing. My cows were producing 
large amounts of milk and not loosing any weight. This was because of 
the food intake. After they had weighed and measured what my cows 
were eating in order to gain weight instead of loosing it they 
decided that it was impossible for them to eat that much and that it 
was just a fluke. They said that in all the tests that they have done 
there was a limit on what a cow could consume for a given weight. 
They just kept going over things looking for mistakes instead of 
listening to what I was trying to explain to them. I tried to explain 
it to them but it went over their heads. Too much education in the 
wrong direction, they could not deny what was happening they just 
could not explain it and did not want my explanation. It still 
baffles me today how narrow-minded people can become. They did send 
other dairy farmers who had production problems to me. However, they 
did not get it either. It is so simple. I realized I was getting off 
track and continued with the story. 
After pushing the hay forward, I was sitting on a bale of hay 
thinking about exactly what I just mentioned. I guess in some way I 
was lonely and wanted to be in the company of like-minded people.

I heard that high-pitched sound and knew exactly what was coming. I 
was instantly on the ship. Only this time I was already sitting on 
the table. This was not to be a pleasant visit as I had hoped. There 
were three behind me now instead of two. The other one standing in 
front of me seemed very agitated and in a hurry, he said that it was 
almost time for me and that we would need to do some more changing. I 
tried to ask what, where, when and why but it had already begun. I 
went in and out of consciousness several times and in-between those 
times I would hear them say that there was something happening with 
the ship or they were under attack. I was picking up bits and pieces 
of mental conversations that did not make a lot of sense. However, 
something was going wrong. My landing was not very smooth either. 
Instead of being placed back, where they had picked me up I found 
myself in mid air falling into a pile of manure. It wasn't even all 
that soft of a landing. I did not see any ship but I did hear what 
sounded like thunder in a clear sky. After going, back to the house 
and getting cleaned up. I had something to eat. Then I headed back to 
the barn. This time I was getting very annoyed and decided that the 
next time would be different. Next time I am getting some answers I 
said to myself. As it turned out the next time was not for another 
ten years. Nevertheless, I didn't forget. Over the years, all of this 
had taken its toll on me. I had also learned some tricks of my own. 
We'll get into that later. I figured it was only a matter of time 
before I received an opportunity to try out my newfound abilities.

"I think I need a cigarette; all this is bringing back a lot of 
memories", I said lighting a smoke.

"So the guys from the research center were just coming out to your 
farm because your cows were fat", asked Sally laughing. "Hey Ed Klaus 
has fat cows".

"Very funny, they were fat cows"! The thing is they were producing 
large amounts of milk. Cows can produce 10 gallons and more a day. 
That causes them to loose a lot of weight. The problem is that they 
can't eat enough food to supply them with what they need and so they 
start to lose weight. At some point, they will slow down milk 
production because they are just worn out. Therefore, the research 
people work on ways to change protein so that it can be absorbed 
faster. This and other things do help but do not solve the problem. 
And you can't exactly turn the milk off. So one night we had some 
guests we had mashed potatoes and roast everyone ate until we where 
stuffed. I couldn't eat one more bite of potatoes I was that stuffed. 
As it turned out we had desert and they had brought desert also. The 
fact is that even though I was so stuffed that I could not eat one 
bite of potatoes I was able to eat two desserts and coffee. That's 
when it hit me. Three to five course meals. See even when you're 
stuffed of one thing you can always find room for something else. 
That was the trick. I gave my cows a four-course meal in the morning, 
a three-course meal at noon and five-course meal at night. The result 
was that they where able to eat 30% more food than what was 
statistically proven to be the maximum per body weight. Simple… my 
cows gained weight and produced large amounts of milk for long 
periods of time. What they could not understand or did not want to 
acknowledge was that a cow is just like us when it comes to food. The 
bottom line was that they said that what my cows where eating was 
impossible and that was that. Anyway, the fence-chewing thing went 
much the same way. It took a long time to figure out what minerals 
they were missing but in the end I was told that cows do not need 
those minerals, "Whatever"! I told them.

Anyway, it seems I got of track again; the problem was that after I 
was picked up things went all to hell. For the next two years, I 
could hear people's thoughts but not their conscious thoughts their 
unconscious thoughts. This almost drove me insane. I ended up leaving 
the marriage and the farm.

"Well what happened to the farm", Asked Ed

"I signed it over to my wife," I answered. 

"I don't fully get what happened" Asked Sally

Everything just took its toll on me and that is all there is to it. 
Besides, by that time I had decided that I was just nuts. There is no 
cure for insanity. 

"That's what you believed, that you where insane," observed Sally

"Well you take what I explained so far and add a hundred more tiny 
things not worth mentioning individually and you have insanity," I 
answered. One poke in the arm is nothing, but a hundred add up to 
more than a hefty punch. That's the way it went and that is the way I 
began to see it. There is more and more and more. Anyway talking 
about it is one thing living it day to day is another. Coming to 
Canada and living with my aunt and uncle was like going to hell. I 
don't want to go into the details, but what happened there and my 
inability to write ended up crushing every bit of self-esteem. 
Children and people can be very resilient through things that happen 
but if your self-esteem is crushed your finished. Once you can build 
up self-esteem then anything becomes possible. Obviously, I wrote a 
book even though I can't write but I had to rebuild my self-esteem 
first. This took a long time, a very long time. 

"I can understand that," said Sally

"Did they come back again," Asked Ed

"Ya one more time so far," I answered. It was late fall 1998 more 
than 10 years later, but at the same time as I was starting to get 
some good results from my lottery experiment and just started 
learning about sending love. You have read my first book so you know 
what time I am talking about. 

"That's when Sneaky first came onto the scene," Responded Sally

"Ya I think I know when you mean, Interrupted Ed, except that story 
was a lot funnier then this one. I'm not complaining now waving his 
hand, it's just that I expected something different".

"Me too" answered Sally.

 I shrugged my shoulders saying I didn't make the path I just slid 
down it. you don't need to hear it. I could see that they were having 
a hard time swallowing this story. I don't blame them. They wanted to 
believe. It's a good thing that the burden of proof lies with the 
disbeliever not with the storyteller.

"There is no proof Sally, Ed. I said, even if you had lived it even 
then it still would not prove itself to you". That's just the way it 
is. 

"If I had been there then that would be proof to me" Answered Sally

"No it wouldn't I answered back it would seem like a dream". Its like 
a hit and run and after its hard to tell who hit and who ran. Besides 
there is something your not aware of the time deferential on those 
ships is different. Its very confusing to the conscious mind and so 
it tries to write it off as a dream.

"What do you mean by time being different" Asked Ed

I think it would be better if I finish this part of the story first 
then we can go into discussing time that way it wont get to 
confusing.

Everybody agreed so I continued.

It was About 8 or 9 pm at night I suddenly felt very tired. Feeling 
that I couldn't hold my eyes open for another minute went to my 
bedroom and laid on the bed. I'm sure I was out as soon as I hit the 
bed. Where I woke up was a different story. With all the deep and 
long meditations I was doing at that time, I had trained myself to 
wake up at the first sign of any danger. In other words, I had 
instructed my subconscious to wake me fully at any sign of trouble. 
This came in very handy, because I woke up on another ship. I woke up 
very fast with my adrenalin already pumping. With what I saw I made 
an instant decision that I was not somewhere friendly and not with 
someone friendly. Sitting up instantly, I must have scared the heck 
out of the three aliens. It definitely looked like they were about to 
do something to my head. One of them very forcefully said to me to 
lie down so they can continue. Not much chance of that, I grabbed him 
by the neck a very small neck at that. My hand went all the way 
around, He tried with his little fingers to get my grip off but after 
many years of dairy farming, I have a steel grip. One of the others 
came around the table to help but I had him the same way. The 
struggle only lasted seconds before I felt the first neck snap. He 
dropped like a rag doll. The other I punched in the head and let go 
of his neck at the same time, he flu of his feet and hit the back 
wall. When I punched him in the head, I could feel his scull crushing 
under my fist. The third one made it to a door or better said an 
opening in the wall. I jumped off the table to grab him but missed 
and tripped. That was his saving grace. Getting up I ran after him 
but felt heavy and slowed by my weight. There were two others coming 
down the hallway as he passed them I felt something hit me. For a 
second it froze my body and I fell. While getting back up, I saw that 
one of the two others had some sort of device in his hand. I decided 
that's who was next but just before reaching him I was hit again, and 
out cold just long enough to be pushed in a room and have the door 
closed behind me. I know it was just minutes because I was not 
totally out of it just rather stunned. The room had many people in it 
probably anywhere from 10 to 15. All of them seemed out of it and 
either lying on the floor or on the floor leaning against a wall. One 
was standing. I got up and rushed over to him. He seemed oblivious to 
what was happening. I was mad and would have killed every one of 
those little bastards if given the chance. I started slapping the one 
who was standing and yelling at him to wake up and fight. There was 
no reaching him at all. I ran to several other people slapping and 
kicking them trying to get them to become conscious and fight but 
they where out of it. Some were dressed and others looked like they 
had been taken from there beds. I did everything I could to try to 
wake them up but to no avail. I started shaking the one that was 
standing again, thinking he was my best chance when it seemed like 
there was an explosion somewhere on the ship. It was loud and shook 
the whole ship. Two seconds later there was another. I ran to the 
door and tried to open it by fidgeting with the symbols on the side 
of the door. The next second I was in another room of a ship; somehow 
I was transported to the ones that had picked me up before. This time 
I was standing in the main control room with what ever his name might 
be. There were others sitting at control panels. The whole front of 
the ship was invisible you could see out as if it was wide open. This 
made me very dizzy as it felt like I could have fallen out. I braced 
myself on some kind of panel and watched. It seems the ship I had 
come from had a whole chunk ripped out of it. All of this was 
happening very fast. I got the impression that they were trying to 
get others out of the damaged ship but were having some trouble. It 
was all over in a matter of seconds. There was another ship 
approaching and it had already fired two shots at the damaged ship. 
The ship exploded and then there was nothing left... 

We seemed to turn and move away from the other ship. The whole wall 
where you could see out of the ship turned solid. I was so mad it 
felt like I was breathing fire. I made myself very clear, I want to 
go home and be put exactly where I was found and I never want to see 
you again. OK so I might have said a few more things before sitting 
down on the floor and leaning against a wall. The only thing that was 
said to me was that they would think you are dead in this time line 
and will attempt to go after you in another time line. To be honest I 
was not listening I was extremely mad. My anger was mostly covering 
up my feelings of helplessness because I have no weapons and no ship 
nothing to fight with and don't even know who the good guys are or 
who the bad guys are or how the hell I got involved with this. It 
would all become clear to me with in two years.
A few days later, I asked sneaky about this but he was not very 
forthcoming. All he said was that there are two forces in the 
universe. One will stop you and the other will drive you forward the 
trick is to use them both to drive you to your goals and beyond.
Frankly, I am not sure what all this was about nor what the purpose 
was. The only thing that has come from it is some centers of my mind 
are open that perhaps should not have been. Regardless personally my 
opinion is that I could have done a better job at this without all 
this interference. 

"So what do you think?" I asked Sally and ed.

"Wow that's something else," answered Ed shaking his head

"So what happened to the people on that ship that was blown up" Asked 
Sally

"Dead, I would think, I answered there was no indication that they 
were taken over to the other ship".

"Did you ask" Asked Sally

"No I didn't ask anything at all But I could tell that things had not 
gone as planned. Or maybe they had but they wanted it to look like it 
failed".

I" wonder why responded Sally This is all very confusing, will you be 
writing this in your next book she asked".

"Actually, I was thinking of writing it out just as I am telling you 
it now" I answered.

"Do you mean that we will be in the book like Nena and Danny?" Asked 
Sally

"That is the idea so does everything make sense so far".

"Ya I think if you write it as you have explained it so far it is 
understandable" responded Ed but I would think that it would raise 
many questions. I know I have a lot of them now I just did not want 
to interrupt you while you were telling your story. Like why would 
they go after you like that"?

Well I had some information that I did not realize I had until later 
its all connected to sending love. I'll tell you what it is later and 
when I do you will say that you knew it you just seemed to have 
forgotten it.

What do you think would happen if an entire race of billions of 
people worked from their power source? Just think about the 
implications, but there is another piece to all of this.

"How do you feel about what you did to those aliens? Don't you think 
that there might be some retaliation?" Asked Sally

"I don't think so I think that they were very busy and probably have 
their hands full and I think that they think I'm dead. As far as how 
I feel about it, I do not know, mixed feelings I guess." 

"From reading your last book I did not think you would have that in 
you I don't want to upset you but it seems from what you told us that 
you where almost doing more then protecting yourself. Its almost like 
revenge, is there something you're not telling us? Asked Sally".

Ed was starring at me with anticipation.

I sat silent trying to think of what I should say.

"Are you going to be leaving things out in this book too asked Ed 
grinning"?

I stopped talking as some people were coming into the restaurant. 
They were going back and forth not able to decide if they should stay 
or not. Finally, they sat down, but seemed nervous. Sally gave them a 
minute and then went to see what they would like.

Everything is a path that leads to other paths, I answered I think 
its best to finish the rest of the story as a whole and then maybe 
look down some of the other possibilities and of how all of it might 
be connecting. This sending love thing is the connection. That is one 
of the reasons why I want to write this book. To try to explain in 
some way that sending love can have such an impact on people and the 
planet as a whole that I believe some will and are truing to stop it 
and some are trying to bring it about and some want it to happen but 
in a controlled way.

What do you mean by that some want it to happen but in a controlled 
way? Asked Ed

"They want to control it for there own purposes" I answered, as more 
and more people start to send love the planet will start to be filled 
with love and then also begin radiating love outward that will have 
ramifications that go beyond this solar system affecting everyone and 
everything just like the sun does. The sun is radiating light we will 
be radiating love.
Unless your vibrating with love you won't be able to come hear 
anymore then you would be able to land on the sun. It also means that 
a lot of civilization would need to change or move. I say this 
loosely and in physical terms, but it makes the point". 

Did I miss anything; asked Sally they only wanted coffee".

"O' good" answered Ed

So what did I miss"? Asked Sally again.

While you explain it Ed and I will take a bathroom break" I answered 
getting up

By the time I came back from the washroom the people were already 
getting up to leave and Sally came back and sat down.

"What were you doing in there for so long anyway?" asked Sally 
laughing.

Was I in there for a long time? It didn't seem that way to me" I 
answered smiling

"Time must be different for Klaus" answered Ed laughing

"So you think that this sending love is so powerful that it will 
effect people or aliens on other planets" Asked Sally.

"It appears that way," I answered. I guess it depends what people do 
with it. It's like this, I get a lot of email from what some call 
world meditations where a lot of people get together around the world 
and send a feeling and thoughts of peace like a blanket over the 
world. Also, a lot of people talk about the power of love but what 
they are missing is actually sending love and also focusing that love 
at certain events or people. It's like this if there is a fire and 
you have a certain amount of water if you spread it all over the 
place it will just evaporate you focus it to certain places to 
contain the fire and then when you have it under control you put it 
out.

Lets say you have a thousand people once a week meditating and 
sending thoughts of peace all over the world you won't get much of a 
result but if you train those same people to send love and then focus 
them on a target you will see results very fast.

"If there is a war and you want to stop it would you not send love to 
the entire country that is at war;" asked Ed

No you would focus on the leaders of both sides because they have the 
power to call a seize fire and end the war. By filling them with 
love, they will make different decisions. And by focusing on them, 
you are creating what you want to achieve. Then as a seize fire 
begins you then begin working outwards to the people. 

"What about free will asked Ed is it not they're right to do as they 
want"?



O' good one that's sort of like the sun saying, O' boy maybe I should 
not shine today because some people will not like it they want 
darkness so I had better not shine. There is sunlight there is air 
and water and there is going to be love radiating out. That is the 
destiny of this planet. Sending love does not stop you from playing 
war games I myself love those games and feel people should be free to 
do what brings them joy. Sending love will not turn everyone into 
love zombies. If it took away my character, I would dump it as fast 
as I could. If someone is doing, things out of hate and fear it will 
work to solve that by removing that inner pain and releasing those 
trapped fears. If someone or a group of people are doing something 
that they really enjoy you will be supporting them in that endeavor 
regardless of what it is even if it could kill them that is there 
choice and it is there freedom. By you sending them love you are in a 
sense giving them strength, health, endurance, energy helping them to 
fulfill what truly brings them joy even if it is not to your liking. 
Some people think that sending love to someone that did not ask for 
it is an evasion of privacy. If that's what you, want to believe 
that's fine with me. I'm going to do what I think is right and since 
I am the one using my source of power I'll decide my destiny and how 
my life will be experienced by me. If you are sending love and for 
some reason it is not right you will know right a way. I have had 
that happen only once, you can debate it all you want. You have free 
will to rage war and I have free will to stop it. 

"You had mentioned something in the beginning of your last book about 
Tibet" Mentioned Sally.

"Perfect example" I answered

"O' ya you were saying that if the people of Tibet would have had the 
knowledge about sending love and did it they could have stopped the 
invasion" Responded Ed

"Exactly I answered have you ever really thought about that invasion 
and what it was about?

Think about what is there do you think that there are enough 
resources there to even pay for the holding army. The point is simple 
before the invasion there was thousands of monks chanting, praying, 
and turning their prayer wheels while the leader runs away. If you 
want to lead people then be prepared to stand with them and die with 
them. That I can respect and the people of the world would also have 
respected it and even stood up and joined with them, I'll just stop 
there before…

Live what you preach and stand with it to the end.

"I hate to say this but are you living what you say? Asked Sally You 
are rich you don't need to work to make money and so on".

Hold on there what made you think that I am rich," I asked shocked at 
what she asked

Well you made a lot of money with the lottery and so you do not need 
to worry how to make a living. I would have lots of time to send love 
if I did not have to work for a living.

O' I see what your saying. I am not rich I stopped working with the 
lottery and went to work with sending love and made my living not 
from the lottery nor from selling the book. I decided that to live 
what I believed and I have been giving the book away and paying for 
it. Putting the book out cost me thousands of dollars and none of it 
came from the lottery. I worked for it and sent love to such a point 
that I had increased my income considerably so that I needed to only 
work a fraction of the time. I did this all by sending love by doing 
exactly what I said in my book. Everything I have is from the result 
of my sending love. Down the road, there will be some income from the 
books but that will be then and will still be a result of my sending 
love. 

"O' I did not realize that" answered Sally shyly

All I did was send love and then follow the doors that opened and 
things just got better and better all the old problems seemed to 
slowly go away bit by bit. I can tell you a little about that letter 
but I would like to get this story over with.

"OK that sounds good to me," answered Sally.


Privacy

I read something today about privacy, which made me laugh 
Because there really is no such thing, it's nothing more than an 
Illusion  
We pick our noses when we think no one is looking but that's not the 
case 
 Life can be hard and it can be fun but nevertheless 
It is precious especially life on this planet at this time  
Not everyone can actually come here and there is a tremendous lineup 
Of souls wanting to experience life on earth
 In other words to be here especially at this time is an honor  
Which brings me back to privacy because for every person here 
There is at least half a dozen watching us all the time 
Learning and growing from our experiences  
Some can't come here and others just prefer to learn by watching 
Which by the way throws privacy right out the window and the next 
time you're picking your nose or doing something you think no one 
will know about 
Think again



NINE


We took a short break because the phone had rung and Sally was on it 
for a few minutes. After she got of the phone, I continued.

OK So we will go back in time for a bit here, back to after I had 
left the farm and was living in Edmonton. Sometime during the mid 
1980 s at that time, I was working for a lumber store. Two main 
things happened during that time that I had to leave out of the last 
book. . Even though both things were happening at the same time, they 
are related but the only way I can explain them is to separate them a 
bit. After I explain it, you can imagine what it was like for me to 
live thru these things and hold down a regular job. Frankly, I am 
surprised that I'm still sane enough to write about it. "OK so maybe 
that's still up for debate" I said laughing but I wasn't laughing on 
the inside. Let me remind you what you believe and what you don't 
believe is up to you. An old sorcerer taught me to leave the burden 
of proof with the disbeliever. 

"Works for me" answered Sally. "Works for me" answered Ed

If you haven't read the first book, I'll rewrite some of what started 
it all. Then continue the story with Sally and Ed as they had read 
the first book not long before I had arrived at the gas station 
restaurant. Also, Sally and Ed are no longer there the gas station 
still is. It's about ? of the way from Calgary to Heart Creek and now 
has a go-cart track there. It's on the south side of the highway. 
Just in case you want to know.

I had spent several months reading a few books and trying to make 
a very serious attempt at being happy. I had put a lot of effort 
in it, but had zero results.  I felt like it was getting worse 
rather than better, and the straw that finally broke the camel's 
back came one night when I was reading a new book I had just 
picked up earlier that day.  In this book, the person who wrote it 
described meeting some great teacher who taught him various 
fascinating things. What really upset me was that this person had 
some magical teacher come to him out of the blue and teach him all 
he wanted to know, while I have to struggle with my problems on my 
own. The other part that upset me was that he told about certain 
interesting things that he learned but did not give the 
instructions on how to do it. What's the point of telling me these 
things without giving me instructions? A waste of paper and a 
waste of my time." "My attitude at that time had bottomed out a 
bit." I remember it all, really clearly.  I felt that the universe 
had forgotten about me. I was so frustrated and mad that I threw 
the book against the wall, and in my mind, I screamed that if I 
didn't get some help right away, tomorrow morning I was going to 
take my car to the mountains and drive it over the cliff. I could 
feel the anger flowing through my veins. In the long run, I 
probably would not have done it but at that moment in my mind, the 
decision was made. I figured that as long as I was here the 
universe could ignore me, but when I'm no longer here and standing 
in front of it, it's going to be a lot more difficult to ignore me 
then!"
"I don't know how long it was exactly, but I would say that no 
more than five minutes after I had screamed those words in my 
mind, it started.  My inner senses just seemed to spring to life 
and I could feel something very big. It was huge and it seemed to 
be trying to squeeze itself into my apartment but it was just too 
big, and ended up taking up space in the entire apartment block, 
and even that was not enough. I really couldn't see anything, nor 
hear anything, but I could feel it with my whole being, that's the 
only way that I can describe it.  I cannot tell you how scared I 
was. I do not think I have ever been that scared. I almost peed my 
bed." 

"I had a small but open apartment, and from my bed I could see the 
hallway, part of the kitchen, and a large part of my living room, 
all the lights were on because I don't like the dark.  As soon as 
it gets dark, I have always felt like there is something big 
standing behind me, watching me. The dark has scared me for as 
long as I can remember. So I al